Bastard's Glory
by pcalix
Summary: Machine and man, joined as one.
1. Warning

**Chapter I: Warning**

* * *

 _Shit, they're all over us! Can't walk two meters without running into another IMC motherfucking titan!_ "Gloria! Laser shot that Ronin!" I shout into my helmets feed as I launch the last of my Archer missiles at the target while leaping over another piece of fallen building, throwing the launcher away as I pull up my R-201 from my back. An orange beam of energy impacts the Ronin dead in the cockpit, staggering it long enough for my missile to impact with an explosion of white sparks and metal rain. The Ronin falters a step but a followup barrage of Splitter Rifle shots melt the inner cockpit, the leftover chassis falling face first into the ground and detonating in an orange fireball. _Stupid bastard didn't even sword block while advancing. Where's the IMC getting these dumb asses?_

"Barker, where the fuck are you?! We're almost at the evac point!" I shout as my R-201 bucks in my hands, the shots downing some Specters blocking my way as I slide to avoid some of the return fire. _Stupid fucker was supposed to be arriving already!_ I dive behind more fallen building parts to avoid a Reaper, a few of its rockets flying overhead. A quick peak cover and a linked target lock is all I need, another beautiful orange beam slicing the Reaper in two. A sarcastic, partially drunken voice finally answers over the comm. "Hey, settle down Seb. You aren't the only pilot I'm picking up today. Still gotta get Livewire out too." _Son of a bitch! Livewire was supposed to be on board already! This was becoming one huge fuck fest!_ I snarl in frustration before retorting angrily, "Alright, alright! Climbing the building now! You better be there when I get up top, Barker! Gloria, transfer into my helmet now!" A grappling hook shoots out of my left wrist as I leap over the debris in the street, tense wire reeling me in towards the building on my right.

"Acknowledged, Sebastian. Beginning transfer. 10%...20%...30%..." a mechanical voice responds calmly and I allow myself a grim smile when I hear her weapons still firing. _Good old Gloria, fighting on even as she's being transferred. She doesn't fuck up as bad as the rest of us and in the time I've been her Pilot, I don't think she's fucked up in her lifetime. Least not in sight range.  
_

Bullets and laser shots from angry IMC ground forces follow me up the building, the wrist mounted motor reeling in the line to drag me up the wall as my keep the trigger of my rifle depressed, not bothering to aim so long as it's pointed in their general direction. "Don't worry about counting down, Gloria! I'll know when it's done!" I shout as I reach the top of the building, my hand grabbing the edge of the roof as the other slaps the rifle against my waist to dislodge a mag. I'm about to pull myself fully up when halfway exposed, a proximity warning goes off in my helmet. I duck down instantly, laser shots from a Volt nearly blowing my head off. _Fuck! Guards up here too?! Really?!_ My R-201 slaps my waist again, slotting another mag before I raise it over the lip of the roof, firing full auto right to left and emptying the new mag.

A few screams sound and my left hand is already pulling hard, launching me a few meters upwards then quickly grabbing a spare mag off my belt to slam it into the rifle. _Air's filled with buckets of lead and energy, all of it shot at me by the IMC._ Some of the ones up here are knee capped but two of the whiteys are still up, aiming their guns. _Sure they are._ I pull the trigger of my rifle again, exploding heads into fountains of red gore with a few placed shots.

An explosion of a titan core sounds nearby along with screams of the dying, a grim smile painting my face behind my helmet as a calm voice states, "Transfer complete, Sebastian. I am ready to depart at your discretion." Emptying the rest of my mag into the survivors on the roof, I quickly swap to my last mag and check the surroundings for more hostiles, laying low to avoid the fire from below. _And there's my ride._ Barker's dropship rapidly approaches at an angle to the building, flying erratically to avoid the fire pointed at it. _God dammit._ I run towards the roof's edge, trails of lead and energy following my movements as I jump off the building onto the dropship, the phase field pulling me into the interior with a crash of armor on metal. A drunken voice quickly slurs, "Hey, Seb. Welcome aboard! Glad you didn't miss that jump!"

"Barker, you stupid fuck! You're flying drunk again?!" I shout in reply, throwing myself to my feet. _Of course he is._ Barker raises his favorite silver flask in his right hand to emphasize his drunkenness. "C'mon, Seb! You know I can't fly half as good sober! Hold onto something!" he shouts in a slur, the dropship doing a quick jerk to the left that throws me to the right most wall of the craft. _The whole interior is shaking like a god dam orbital entry!_ Barker doesn't seem to notice, laughing heartily and slurring, "Sorry about that, Seb! Had to avoid a missile. And-"

Another Pilot phases into the compartment, slamming onto the floor but quickly rising to their feet. _Well, we got Livewire. No one else wears armor of the Marauder Corp colors if they don't have to._ The slight Pilot pulls her helmet off, red hair spilling down her shoulders as she comments calmly, "Nice flying, Barker. Is that everyone?" _Livewire, always business._ I do a rapid head count, counting five heads including mine. _Yep, everyone's here more or less._ I didn't waste any more time, moving quickly to strap into a nearby harness for the incoming jump. "Captain, what happened? I thought you were getting on first," I shout over the growing din of the ship shaking. She's quickly strapping into a harness across from me, a neutral expression on her face as she states, "Had a nice dual with two Legions. Couldn't risk the drop ship."

"Fuck, Captain! A few of us could've helped!" I exclaim but more for show. _She's always like this when she knows she can handle it._ A hand pats my right shoulder and my head jerks around to the woman sitting next to me. "Cheer up, you grumpy bastard. She lived, we all lived, no casualties. Jobs done and we get to relax a bit. What's the big deal?" the woman says arrogantly with a show of teeth. _Ugh. Idol, an arrogant piece of shit and the god dam Ace of the group in her Vanguard. Expensive piece of shit that titan is but it can adapt to any situation far as I know._ I smile in amusement to myself at the thought. _Yeah, expensive piece of shit we just blew up today._ I shout angrily while still smiling, "That was a fucking shit show down there! So much for recon accuracy! Limited force my ass!" The interior lurches hard downwards then upwards as Barker kicks in the afterburners, our velocity increasing and causing the interior to vibrate visibly. I reach for my cigars in their pouch on my belt only to find that a stray shot had taken the pouch off. "Oh, those motherfuckers!" I swear loudly to the growing amusement of Idol who retorts loudly, "Hey, it's a good thing! Smoking's bad for you."

"Shut the fuck up, Idol!" I shout, nearly unstrapping myself from the harness in anger as she grins at my misfortune, all broken teeth and arrogance. _God dam this unit and god dam my spot in it for the millionth time._ Barker slurs over the ships intercom, "Yo, kids...jump's spooled up...better keep your lunch in this time!" There's no further warning when the dropship suddenly lurches forward, time and space bending as we jump to somewhere else. I grit my teeth as the forces play hell on my innards. "Sebastian. Are you feeling well? I read that-"

"Not now, Gloria..." I growl through gritted teeth. A gasp escapes everyone strapped in as we return to reality a moment later, red warning lights blinking as a computerized voice elaborates, "Warning. Approach velocity exceeding maximum safe levels. Brace for impact." Barker kills the red lights and the warnings before slurring, "Piece of junk! I'm well within the flying speed!" A massive impact shakes me to the bones as the ship comes down hard in the landing bay, red lights winking on and off again from the hull damage. "And we're down! Good job, people!" Barker slurs as he rises from his seat. _He's gonna get himself killed if he keeps flying like that without a harness on._ In a slow gait, he staggers towards the rear entrance and pulls the overhead handle to open the rear ramp with a pneumatic hiss, tripping over himself to fall out the ramp in a roll.

 _And he's our commanding officer_. _This drunken washout is the one giving me my orders._ Body sore, I unstrap myself slowly and painfully from my harness and double check the interior. Livewire's up and leaving along with Idol with their typical calmness and arrogance. _Dam adrenaline junkies._ Pincushion's steadily bringing his breathing back to normal, face straight ahead in shock. _Poor kid. Barkers flying scares the shit out of him every time._ I go over and unstrap him, offering a hand to help him up and saying gently, 'You alright, kid? Didn't take a bullet and not tell us, did you?" He doesn't look up immediately or answer and I shake him on the shoulder to get his attention, his head snapping up to meet me. "C'mon, kid. Flight's over. Let's get out of the ship for the next bunch."

He has a grim expression on his face as he tries to rise, nearly stumbling and forcing me to steady him with an arm under his armpit. "Easy, kid. We're all scared to shit by Barker and his flying but look on the bright side. He's got a record for not crashing," I sarcastically comment but he doesn't smile, his face gaunt and pale. _Eh, he'll get over it._ I let him as soon as I'm sure he can stand straight and go to go check on Albatross who hasn't moved at all when we landed, a hand on her stomach and her head lolled to one side. Rushing over, I move the hand away from her stomach to see a ragged hole punched through her side and immediately go for my helmet comm. "Shit! Hanger! We got a Pilot wounded! We need medical in here now!"

I quickly gesture to Pin with my other hand and command, "Get me something to patch her up with!" A bandage wrap hits hand and I smile at the efficiency. _Good kid._ Both of my hands start rapidly rapping Albatross' midriff with bandages tightly followed by both hands pressing the wound, blood now seeping into the bandages. "Alb, look at me. Alb!" I shout at her but her helm doesn't move. I quickly nod my head in Pin's direction and command, "Pin, get her helmet off!"

He moves efficiently, his hands rapidly releasing the catches on her helmet to reveal a face extremely pale and eyes closed. The light causes her eyes to open weakly before she closes them again with a grunt of pain. "Alb, don't move! You took a hit to the side! Medicals coming, just hold on!" I shout and thankfully, Medical arrives quickly, two white armored corpsman moving us aside as they tend to the wound and prep her to move to the medical bay.

We couldn't do anything else but get out of their way, my hand grabbing Pin under his arm and moving him out of the dropship. As we thump down the metal ramp, he looks frightened at being moved like this. When we hit the deck, however, I crack a smile and give him a hard pat on the shoulder while growling, "Smooth moves, Pin. You might've saved a fellow pilot back there. We'll see how she does but I think she'll live. Alb's a tough bitch and won't just die on us that easily."

Pin seems a little uplifted by the praise, his posture straightening and head raising slightly as he stutters out, "Th..th..thank you...sir..." I slap him hard on the back in reply with a laugh, nearly pushing him over. "I'm nobodies sir, kid. Just use my name," I state as he rights himself before responding timidly, "Thank you...Seb..."

"Think nothing of it. Besides, a dead Pilot aboard the ship doesn't look good on our reputation." Pin chuckles nervously as he adds to my comment, "And...what reputation...is that..?" I laugh loudly at his rebuttal. _Smart kid._ "Yeah, you got me there. I think you've been spending too much time with Idol. Least she got one think right. Time to unwind and get ready for the next one," I state while walking away, sore yet glad the missions over as I head out of the hanger, Pin a few steps behind.

* * *

My first stop is to go drop off my kit at the armory for repairs, Pin shadowing my movements. _Still don't like him attached to me but who else could he attach to? Livewire's too high up the chain to get along with, Idol's an arrogant bitch, Barker's a son of a bitch, and Alb is prone to getting wounded. I'm no better with the swearing and the smoking but I guess that's minor flaws in comparison._ My irritation finally reaches its max as I growl, "Kid, why do you always shadow me? Why can't you grow a pair and go make some man or women a happy person? At the very least, go talk with some of the other Pilots about...anything."

His response is disarming in its sincerity and quick in its execution. "You need me here. Otherwise, you'd be all alone on this ship. It's not a secret that you hate the unit." _Fuck, got me again. From smart kid to smart ass._ I don't bother to answer as the armory keeper asks for my helmet again, my response to turn around and leave like I always do. _When's the stupid bastard gonna learn that I keep my helmet to myself?_ Pin chimes in on my right a few steps down the hall. "I never asked why you hate the unit because I thought you'd tell us when you're ready-"

I hold up a hand and angrily rant, "Kid, let me tell you something. I applied for the 6-4 and they put me here, going from potential advancement to the ass ends of the units." My hands gesture around me hastily as other soldiers look at me in confusion. "Angel City Elite? Yeah, we're the elite all right. Elite at being the most disorderly and unorthodox unit in the Militia. Barely equipped, barely recognized. I think the most expensive thing we've gotten recently is that Vanguard with Idol and we just got that blown up."

I round on Pin with an angry expression, seizing his shoulders and shaking him slightly with a face of aggression. "For what? A seizure op? What did we even get outta that mission?" I shout, one of my hands going to back of my head and I exhale to calm myself down, noticing the kid staring straight ahead and looking scared. _Son of a bitch, I did it again._ I quickly take my hands off him and gently say, "Sorry, kid. Didn't mean to rant at ya. But I guess you know why now, huh?" Pin just nods stiffly as we continue our walk towards the mess hall, my last line echoing in my mind.

 _What did we even get outta that mission?_

* * *

As soon as we enter the open bulkhead, I take a gander at the scene of the messhall. _Not a lot of Pilots in here. Most of the occupants are either staff on break or Riflemen off duty. Perfect. It means that the cook can bust out the better rations I bought._ "Yo, Paul! You get that req ready for me?" I shout from across the room at the man behind counter who looks up at me with a sour look, "Yeah, I got you're god dam potatoes. Least you could do is share em with the rest of us."

"Oh, don't give me that shit. Or did someone forget that last shipment of booze we liberated from the last op?" I retort with an arrogant grin, his grizzled and scarred face look at me sourly as he starts serving up mashed potatoes and gravy with protein slices for the two of us. _Don't blame us for getting your helmet blown off. We all have our day._ "Booze ain't food, smart ass. It isn't an equal exchange," he retorts, sliding the trays roughly to us and almost dumping them on the floor.

Something in his voice made me believe he isn't pissed at me as I ask gently in a whisper, "Let me guess. The drop that went for the req is still MIA?" He nods his head grimly and I swear loudly. _Those god dam rejects always spending more time on Harmony than needed. Didn't they know people starve when they decide to do unsanctioned R &R?_ I quickly look around the tables, seeing some of the poor bastards sharing pathetic meals and swear again, moving over to one of the tables and tossing down my meal to a surprised group of staff. "You need this more than me. Make sure you share or there will be hell to pay," I angrily growl as bewildered eyes following my progress back towards Paul, my voice growling to him, "Portion out the stock I bought. No one's starving today. Just give me the usual rations."

"At the rate I keep owing you and our crew delaying on the req runs, I won't have anything left for you to get paid back with," he growls lowly to me, more in respect than anger. I sigh as he portions out the normal protein amount with no sides, my anger flaring again as I growl, "At this rate, I'm gonna shoot those stupid bastards dead and do the req runs myself. This is fucking ridiculous." I give Paul a nod of thanks before joining Pin at the table, the kid eating heartily like it's the first meal he's had in months. _With the barely edible shit we get, it might as well be._ "Dam, kid. Slow down. Food stocks aren't going to run out anytime soon," I say jokingly as I take my seat next to him. _Kids already done too. Little bastard puts away food like a god dam vacuum._ He burps loudly before saying, "Wow, that's good stuff...where did you even get that stuff?"

"Hijacked a ship, did some shopping on Harmony, came back and gave it to Paul. How else?" I state in a matter of fact way, his face displaying shock at my casual description before I continue with a smirk. "If it makes you feel better, I got permission from Barker before taking his ship." Pin laughs and shakes his head, his short black hair shifting slightly before adding, "Yeah, that must've been easy since he's too drunk to say no."

Horrible racket interrupts our conversation as an annoyingly familiar voice gloats, "Well, well. Look who's enjoying themselves!" A growl escapes my throat as Idol sits down next to Pin casually, her arm wrapping around his shoulder playfully. _So much for a pleasant dinner._ "Such noble heroes sharing banter about life and the pursuit of court martial," she gloats while patting Pin on the left shoulder, the kid sitting straight and trying not to make any sudden moves. "If I didn't do half the shit I do, the god dam ship would stop moving altogether," I exclaim, removing my helmet to eat the small amount of food in front of me. Idol grins widely as my helmet thumps the table before gloating, "Looks like the sun's out today!" _My hairless head must be reflecting some light._ "Might wanna learn how to eat with the helmet on or you'll blind everyone around you, Seb!"

"If only I could. Maybe I wouldn't have to suffer your god dam arrogance," I retort angrily while slowly eating my food, her laugh cruel in response as she ruffles Pins hair. _I had warned the kid not to get involved with her, a woman that'd likely fuck him and dump em in a heartbeat._ "Why are you here anyway? Didn't get your fill of snide remarks today?" I growl at her, slowly losing my patience for her shit. "Oh, nothing like that," she gently retorts while moving a hand under Pin's chin, Pin doing his best to remain calm but starting to sweat and shake lightly. "I was just wondering if Pin here was having a good time with the grumpy bastard that is you," she purrs and I laugh in her face before saying, "Kid's not gonna sleep with you, Idol. He isn't so dumb that he'd court a broken heart and a broken dick." Her amusement quickly fades, replaced with anger as she shouts at me, "How dare you! I would never do that to anyone!"

"Sure, you wouldn't. You practically exude civility and grace," I say sarcastically while eating the remainder of my food with her eyes boring into me. _To be honest, I had no evidence. Gut instinct told me to avoid this psycho and I let that instinct pass on to the kid. In the end, it's the kids choice to sex up a deviant, not mine._ She stares at me in anger for a few seconds before I rise from my seat after finishing the ration, slamming my helm back on and turning to leave the mess hall. Before I fully leave, my head slight turns at the door and I say back to the two of them, "Use protection, kid. Or at the least, don't let off inside that woman."

* * *

I'm glad to be free of the group for a while, reaching for my cigars again and swearing when I remember they aren't there. A familiar soothing voice chimes in at last to break the silence as I walk the hallways towards the crew quarters. "Sebastian. Do you truly believe that Bethany Jackal has ill intentions towards Alexander Umito?" Gloria says calmly and I grunt to myself before answering her question. "Yeah, I do. Got no proof that she would love the kid to hurt em later but skepticism hasn't failed me yet. I hope skepticism works for the kid too. _" I just hope the kid thinks with his dam head and not with his dam dick when confronting that particular problem._

My hand idly goes to press the activation button on the wall and as the door slides open on my small quarters, I stop giving a shit about their quarrel.

 _Giving a shit's for outside this room._


	2. Home

**Chapter II: Home**

* * *

 _Wasn't much but the room's mine for the moment. I guess you appreciate shit more when you don't have much of it._ Gloria displays on my visor as a glowing green orb before I lay into bed with a thump. "Sebastian. Are you sure you wish to perform more duties before-"

"Gloria, we've talked about this. Yes, I perform all of my duties before I get to rest. Now display the info," I command gently, breathing out as Gloria obeys. Manifests of equipment, necessities, titan statuses, and a host of other accounting level bullshit I don't care to remember displays on my helm, each report read saying the same repeating groan that we don't have enough of anything. _Not enough materials for repair, not enough food to survive, not enough of anything really. Doesn't pay enough to be the ass end of anything._

For three hours, I spend time talking with staff casually over my helmet comm, trying to get a better feel of what's needed. Most of it revolved around credit intake and I couldn't help with that. _Marauder Corp doesn't pay us enough for the shit we deal with on the regular. We fight hard and well, why aren't we rewarded as well like other units?_ Closing out all the reports with a blink, I start to doze off as exhaustion settles in before the door opens, a growl escaping my throat. _Dammit, I forgot to lock the door._ "I'm not taking visitors right now. Kindly fuck off," I growl angrily, not bothering to see who it is and starting to close my eyes again.

"Well, Seb. I guess I deserve that but sadly I can't obey that request today," a familiar voice commands, my eyes snapping open as I quickly jump out of the bed and stand up straight, saluting Barker. He raises an eyebrow in curiosity before slurring, "At ease, Pilot. Never liked being saluted and don't even start the sir shit." My arms fold into parade rest behind my back, my body and head following Barker's stumbling across the room as he falls into a chair sideways, taking time to turn himself towards me. He throws something at me with his left hand and I catch it with caution. "Open it," he commands, a few pulls of my hand on the flap ripping the letter open before I grab the contents. Doesn't take me long to metaphorically shit my pants and ask in confusion, "Wait, this some kind of joke?"

"Afraid not, Seb. Looks like that last action impressed someone you know. 6-4's willing to have you now. You leave the ship in a few hours for Harmony to be reassigned," he states, quickly getting up from his seat and offering a handshake but I don't move, the letter still in my hands. He smiles at me and takes a drink from his flask before slurring, "Yeah, not much for goodbyes and congratulations either. You aren't alone in thinking it's a waste of paper to write that. Well, good luck Seb. Gonna be hell in the 6-4."

He turns to leave but I put a hand on his shoulder to stop him, his movements freezing as his head lazily turns to the left. "All due respect sir, I'm not going," I state sternly, Barker fully turning around to look at me in surprise before taking another drink from the silver flask in his right hand. "So you'd rather remain in the ass end of the unit spectrum rather than where you want to be? I'd be blushing if I wasn't waiting for an explanation," he slurs in a serious voice as he stumbles back to his original spot to fall back into the chair he just vacated.

"Look at this unit, Barker. If I leave now, the whole damn boat falls apart," I joke sternly with as much conviction as I can muster. _Probably an understatement. I'm sure I could be replaced._ "If I'm gonna jump ships, I want to make sure this rust bucket and the sons of bitches on it are ready for that."

"Noble idea but you realize this has been going on since that incident on Typhon with the Fold Weapon and that was-" I swiftly interrupt him with, "About a year ago. I've kept count."

"Then you realize if you choose to stay, good chance you're stuck here forever, right?" Barker states in a logical tone. _Barker's far too sober for this conversation. He's making too much sense and speaking in long sentences._ "Are you sober, commander?" I query jokingly with a smile that he cant see behind my helmet, to which Barker laughs as he drinks another helping from his flask. "You know I don't like being called commander. You can be a real bastard at times, you know that Seb?" he replies jokingly in return.

"Feelings mutual, Barker," I retort as we both share a brief laugh as I take a seat on the bed. Barker sits upright from his slouch and states evenly, "But really. If you disobey this, 6-4 might not bother again. You need to really think about this, Seb. Don't let this pile of shit slow you down from getting what you want."

"And I told you I'm not leaving this ship until I have a goddam guarantee that it won't end up another KIA report on some jackass commander's office desk," I stater firmly as Barker drinks a small helping from his flask before gesturing to my helmet. "What about Gloria? What does she think?"

 _Good idea._ I take off my helmet and set it down on the table next to the bed, pressing a few keys on the top of the helmet to enable external voice comm. The helmet starts to blink out the words as a voice clearly states, "I believe that you both have valid arguments. The 6-4 has a long history of only offering a pilot one offer to join their ranks. Only 2 instances have they issued another request. As for Sebastian's report on the state of the ship, I believe without his actions, the ship would be woefully undersupplied in foodstuff and lacking vital information."

"And the verdict?" I demand from her, both of us waiting a few seconds before we get an answer. "I believe that Sebastian's path is sound. The 6-4 does not require more manpower or talent. The Angel City Elite is in need of manpower. The decision is clear." I slap the helmet a few times in approval and smile while saying, "Thanks, Gloria."

"You are welcome, Sebastian," Gloria states as I pick up the helm and put it back on, Barker shrugging his shoulders as he slurs, "Alright. Guess I'll have to inform Gates that she's about to be disappointed. Not like she really is since she did put you here." I grunt in response, laying back in the bed as Barker laughs slightly. "Right, overstayed my welcome. As you were, Pilot, as you were." He takes a large drink from his flask as he staggers out of the room, finally running out as the door closes it behind him.

 _He may be a son of a bitch but he's a reliable son of a bitch. Now he gets to deal with the bureaucratic bullshit of his station instead of me._ My head turns back towards the ceiling as I start to close my eyes when the door opens again. For the second time, I damn that it isn't locked. "I said it before and I'll say it again. Not taking visitors. Kindly fuck off," I command but this time I do look to see who entered and a loud expletive escapes me.

"That any way to talk to your commander?" Livewire states, a groan emitting from my throat as my body sits up and moves to the edge of the bed. _It just had to be Livewire next._ "Live, I really don't want to deal with anything official right now so kindly get the hell out," I state roughly while moving back to a laying position, not caring if she obeys or not. The lights dim as the door closes and I sigh in relief at her honouring my request before I hear her move about inside the room, my ire rising as I hear her sit down in the chair were Barker just sat. "I guess Barker gave you the news already judging by the smell?" _Damn it. Ill have to clean that chair later. Damn drunk leaves an aura of booze on whatever he touches._ "Yeah, it's over there if you want to see it," I grumble while pointing lazily at the letter on the table near her. The sound of paper rustling is barely audible as I start to doze off before I hear, "God dammit...so I'm about to be a Pilot down. And the good one at that. Why couldn't they take Idol or Alb, hell take Pins! Why does it have to be you?"

"Nice of you to say but I'm not going," I whisper lazily, closing my eyes as I hear her retort, "You're going to turn down the 6-4!? What the hell's wrong with you!? This is your chance to be a better Pilot!" _Yep, she's pissed and she moving this way._ My eyes open with a growl of frustration as Livewire stands over me, her shadow cast on me and her body tense with aggression. My head turns slightly in her direction as I state, "I really don't give a shit about being a better Pilot. You know that better than anyone." To emphasize my point, I sit up and snatch the letter from her hand, producing my lighter and burning the letter before tossing it to the ground to stamp out the fire. "There. If they ask, I never got it," I say with amusement, already moving back to laying down. Livewire doesn't let me lay down, her hands seizing my shoulders and moving me back upright with a growl from my throat. "You're making a big mistake..." she whispers, her face a look of irritation and amusement, my ire cooling as I catch some of the hints she's displaying. _Horseshit. There's no way Livewire gives this much of a shit about me as a Pilot to go to this length._ "Alright, jokes over. Why are you really here?" I say plainly and bluntly, her face going from irritated to neutral in a heartbeat. "Alb's gonna be out for a while. The bullet hit her stomach and it'll take a while for her to fight off the infection."

"Critical?" I ask quickly, Livewire shaking her head no in response. "Nothing a few days rest can't fix. The big problem is our supply of medication. I don't think we have enough for the people on board." I'm already pulling up my credit amount on my helm with a mental command to Gloria, browsing over pages of useless balances to find the total. _112\. Plenty for this._ "Barker, you read?" I say aloud, my helmet already connected to his private line.

"Oh, hey Seb! Long time no call. What do you need?" he slurs with a jovial tone. _He must be right wasted if he forgot our earlier conversation so quickly._ "I need the ship. Important medical run," I say in clipped sentences, Barker's answering immediately. "Sure. I'll cancel the plans for it for now till you get back. Don't be gone too long and fly sober," he sluts as I snort at that last comment. _Cause this motherfucker flies sober often._ It becomes clear why Livewire's here and I chuckle to myself at the irony. "You needed me to hijack a ship, didn't you?" Her grim smile gives away everything and she shrugs before saying in an even tone, "You do it better than I can." _Fine. I courted court martial many times by now anyway._ "Alright, launch bay in an hour. I need at least _some_ sleep," I grumble, removing her hands and laying back with a groan of exhaustion. Before I can start sleeping, I hear the sound of armour seals being uncoupled, my head snapping around with growing irritation to see Livewire starting to remove her armour. I growl quietly, "Dammit, Live. Now? We just got back from a fucking mission."

"Yes, now. We haven't bonded in a week or so and I'm done dancing around pretending not to be frustrated. Now take your clothes off," she commands as she lays down next to me, an angry sigh escaping me as she commands. _She isn't one to be convinced of anything once she's decided. Love and hate that about her._ As my helmet comes off, Gloria states, "Sebastian. Your aggression levels are-"

"Yeah, I know Gloria. Lack of sleep does that to me. Anything else?" I cut her off angrily with, Gloria responding evenly with, "Negative, Sebastian. Please enjoy your time with Commander Leslie." _God dammit, if she wasn't so useful at times, I'd keep her external voice comm off permanently._ Leslie is smiling darkly to herself when I turn towards her, my arms reaching around her back and neck as she does the same. "C'mon, grumpy. You need to unwind too-"

"What I need is god damn sleep but here we are," I retort angrily with a smile as her hands start to brush the many scars and lacerations from both Rifleman and Pilot life. _Surprised I'm not dead from either yet._ Something clicks in my head as ideas strike, my face moving to a grim smile of my own. "Wait. Can you have it so that we aren't synced for next rotation of duties?" I ask quietly and Leslie smiles, her face like a spider who just caught new prey to suck dry as she growls, "Now you get why I'm here. Do this for me and I'll do that for you."

"Deal, but you're flying the fucking ship," I say quickly, pulling her closer and kissing her on the lips. _If it wasn't for my body feeling like shit, I'd enjoy the time we spend together._ _At least in private._ Leslie reacts in kind, pulling me towards her as I ask between kisses, "Why do...you always...choose the absolute...worst times...to do this?" She laughs as she pushes me onto my back and moves on top of me. "Like when? When's the last time we had time to kill?" she whispers while putting her hands on my chest and lining up her crotch with mine. _All business._ She wastes no time, putting my dick where it belongs with a low gasp from both of us as I respond, "Oh I don't know. How about that time when the Titans needed 4 hours of maintenance?" My hands move to her hips as I continue my rant. _Not like I need to do anything but its a reaction._ "Or when we had to wait 2 hours for the ammo situations to get non-fucked? Or how about-"

Leslie lays down on top of me and starts to kiss me mid-sentence, occupying my mouth to shut me up. _Guess the briefings over._ My body switches to another form of communication, one that we haven't used in a while my mind keeps running in the background. _Even as I do all the things a man would do to a willing partner, if anyone found out about this, my ass is grass. I'm just glad our command structure is so fucked up that_ court-martial _is reserved for the worst offences. Fucking a superior officer? Not a big deal. Also helped that I'm on a first name basis with said officers._

"I love you..." Leslie whispers between kisses, breaking my thoughts as I sigh and kiss her a few times before answering. "Jesus, Leslie. Why do you have to make this so difficult for me all the time?" I whisper, kissing her further but feeling dampness on my face. _Oh dammit, here comes the tears._ I quickly break the kiss and continue roughly with, "Oh, don't start. We both know that we can't publicly be a couple. Even I have some discipline." _It's always the same act._ Her grim smile rises to her face when she realizes I'm not taking the bait. "You're just not used to someone caring for you like I do."

"Oh, I'm plenty used to the 'love' I receive from you and other people. I'm practically glowing," I state sarcastically, her laughs in dark humor filling my ears as her arms move around my neck. "Are you gonna finish or what?" she asks bluntly, kissing me in emphasis as I groan in frustration into her mouth before breaking away. "What am I, some kind of sex toy? I don't just blow a load when you feel like it." To hasten the process, she starts licking my face, slowly trying to entice me to a swift end as I grin at she persists. "Sorry, commander. This pilot learned a bit more discipline than last time."

"Oh? We'll see about that," she says in a threatening tone, my eyes rolling as she uses everything from biting, gentle rubbing, different expressions and moaning to try and get me to finish. _Exhaustion is making me angry and the angry is making it fucking difficult to get aroused._ _That I even have an erection is a_ goddam _miracle of biology._ "Wow, you aren't really into it when you're tired," she comments in mock humour. _Damn it, we've done this already. This entire act is a repeat. Waste of fucking time._ "No shit. Yet you keep ignoring that every time," I retort angrily, still trying my best to be somewhat romantic but with steadily decreasing results. _This is getting stupid. Have to think of something to give this banshee what she wants but what?_ "Fine, guess I don't have a choice," she says reluctantly, pulling me into

"Fine, guess I don't have a choice," she says reluctantly, pulling me into an open-mouthed kiss. _Crap, that did it._ She doesn't hold anything back, her tongue moving around the inside of my mouth as I close my eyes, feeling my mind drift slightly as I explode into her and nearly knocking me out from the sudden ecstasy. She gives me several long seconds of affection before releasing me, a grunt of exhaustion escaping me as I groan, "Fuck, Leslie...could've warned me..."

"That was taking to long. Now go to sleep, Seb," she commands while getting off me, my eyes close rapidly as exhaustion finally kicking me in the head till I stopped moving.

* * *

I don't even get to dream, my body introduced to a fugue of sleep before Gloria chimes in with, "Sebastien, it is time for your scheduled medical run with Commander Leslie." I cough a few times before my senses return to me, my body sore and my eyes groggy as I tilt my head down to see myself in uniform. "Why is my uniform on?" I slur, my head shaking to clear it as I move to the edge of the bed. "Commander Leslie arrived at the designated time to wake you but simply put on your uniform instead," Gloria states, my body resisting wanting to move but forced into compliance as I stand on weakened legs. "She is waiting for you in the dropship hanger." I cough several more times before ripping off my helmet swiftly and spitting out a wad of black gunk onto the floor. _Ugh, the paradox. Smoking made me calmer but kills me. Not smoking made me angrier but doesn't kill me._ _Lose-lose fucking situation._ "

"Goddammit, alright...I'm moving..." I groan as I head for the door. _Shit, I feel sore._ My helmet slams back into place louder than usual and I stagger out of the room. I try not to run into people but with the amount of exhaustion, it happens a few times and they get kinda mad at me but I can care less. _Got places to be and no time for their whining._ Felt like hours getting to the damn ship, finally stumbling up the ramp into the dropship interior while putting a hand to the metal wall to steady me. I smile to myself at the movement. _Wonder if this is what it's like to be Barker._ Thankfully, we had no stowaways so no extra bullshit besides the two of us already in the ship. Livewire looks back at me with a grin as I stumble into the copilot seat, thumping down into the seat with a clash of armour as I strap into my harness and leaning back with a exhale of exhaustion. "You took your time. Get lost on the way here?" she says playfully, my only response to grunt at her weakly.

"You took your time. Get lost on the way here?" she says playfully, my only response to grunt at her weakly. "Yeah, yeah. Less fucking sarcasm and more getting us the fuck outta here," I say while closing my eyes and relaxing, the ship engines spooling up in response. When I open my eyes after an unknown amount of time, it takes me a while to understand whats on my helmet display. _Confirmation of payment. Right._ I'm grateful that Livewire left me asleep in the cockpit. _Good girl._ Sadly, the mood sours as I wake up slightly and see what I'm approving, my face snarling in my helmet as I growl in irritation. "What the fuck is this? That's way more than I agreed on. Is she buying medical for the entire fucking boat?"

"Correct, Sebastian. She seems convinced that you are willing to part with 100 credits to pay for months worth of medical supplies." Gloria answers evenly and I grit my teeth as my mouth sours. _That bitch._ "Confirm payment," I say bitterly, watching the funding drain from my account with disdain. "Transaction approved, Sebastion. Medical supplies are now en route to the dropship."

"Do we even have the space for all of this shit?" I query, yawning a bit as my mood goes back to exhausted as I stretch in the seat to flex stiffened limbs. "Affirmative, Sebastian. The amount of cargo will only take up 78% of the hold," she responds, my eyes blinking a few times before closing again. _Well, might as well go for broke._ "Get me a few items will you, Gloria?" I slur, the light shifting behind my eyelids as Gloria works on the task. "Shall I purchase the usual products using the 10 credit limit?" Gloria asks, a weak smile crossing my face at her efficiency. _Good girl. She knew me too well._ "Yeah, do that..." I slur as my head lolls to the side as I fall asleep again.

* * *

A hand gently nudges my shoulder and I try to slap it away, only eliciting Leslie to retort, "Time to get back to bed, Pilot. Get your lazy ass out of that chair." My ire rises at having my sleep interrupted so much that I retort, "Oh, fuck off. You just broke my ass and my wallet so you're gonna have to do better than that." She does better, slapping the release on my harness with a hiss of retracting restraints and grabbing my arms, pulling me over her shoulders and moving swiftly towards the exit ramp of the dropship. She doesn't prevent me from bumping into the ceiling of the ship as we leave. "Be a doll and don't fall off. I'm not picking you up off the ground,"

"Be a doll and don't fall off. I'm not picking you up off the ground," she states mockingly, my face irritated again at her antics. "Thanks, commander...You're a real charmer..." I respond sarcastically, doing as instructed as she hauls me around like a sack of shit on someones back around the ship. A few staff ask if I'm dead or not when they see me on her back and Livewire does nothing to address them. _Well, fuck you too._ I'm not sure if I said that aloud or not but a quick movement throws me off her shoulders and onto what I assume is my bed. "You sit tight and get some rest. I'll expect more compensation when you're awake," she commands, my body drifting to sleep before I hear the ending.

 _Guess she got that roster change after all_.


	3. Gamble

**Chapter III: Gamble**

Dam, my head hurts. Not sure if it's withdrawal, exhaustion, or drug injection that's causing it. Probably a mix of all three. And who the fuck is shaking me? "How the fuck did you get in here?...Get outta my bunk..."

"Your bunk? Surely you mean mine..." My eyes open to regard my surroundings, taking a few seconds to adjust. Helmet systems start to enable and analyze the room but it's unnecessary. I know where I'm at. "Dammit, Leslie. You took me to your quarters? The fuck you thinking?" I don't bother to look around but from her tone of voice, she's smiling at me from the chair at her desk. Assuming the layout of the room is the same. "Your welcome. I thought you needed time away from your gloomy ass den and time in more appropriate lodging."

"The hell I do," I snap, pushing myself to the edge of the bed but feeling immediately dizzy. The fuck? "Leslie...what did you do to me?" Her smile darkens as she places the holotab in her hand on the desk nearby, moving her red hair behind her head theatrically and leaning on her left knee. I truly am in the spider's den and I'm the fucking fly. "Medical injections. You haven't logged your medical inspections in a few weeks so I had to make sure you had a clean bill of-"

My breathing is clear which only meant one thing. "Dammit, Leslie! You got me a detox injection without my permission?! Fuck you!" I look around for something to throw at her before realize it isn't my quarters, finally settling on cursing a few times and trying to get my anger under control. That and my arms and legs start to feel numb, forcing me to try and stay balanced. Leslie's smile doesn't waver even as her image does. "Well if you keep that up, I'll have to bust your ass down to some random duties to perform." I snort at Leslie's threat.

"Good, I could use the vacation," I say bitterly, trying to rise but stumbling back into a sitting position instead. Fucking detox shot must've been administered recently, which means I'm stuck here for a few hours fighting off the numbness and dizziness. Fuck that I say, trying again to get off the bed only to stumble to the floor. Leslie watches me with a mix of amusement and satisfaction. "You need help with that?"

"Would be nice but after all the 'help' I keep getting, you can fucking keep the help for today." My arms aren't responding and I'm stuck on the floor. Fucking wonderful. Most I can do is shimmy along the ground, propping myself up against the bed. "How long ago was that detox?"

"Few minutes ago. Give or take." Least my ability to guess is still working. Gloria decides to chime in now. "Sebastian. Judging from the levels of chemicals now currently in your bloodstream, it will take approximately 3 hours to fully metabolize, returning function to your limbs." So I'm stuck a cripple for the next 3 hours? I have a bad feeling about what comes next, Leslie's movement from her chair confirming my warnings as she manhandles me back onto the bed. Not sure if I should be angry or aroused. "Seriously, Leslie? You're gonna take advantage of me while I can't move?"

Her smile drops from her face, muscles bunching in her jaw. Guess I hit a nerve. "No, jackass. I brought you here because I wanted to talk. It's been a while since we had time to chat." Ugh, another one of her talks where she vents everything to me and tries to pry into my life and I have to suffer 3 hours of it. "Fine, do your worst. Not like I can stop you or anything."

She snarls in anger before saying, "You know, you can be a real bastard sometimes, Sebastian." A laugh escapes my throat. "That makes two of us. I've yet to deny being a fucking bastard. Not sure why people think otherwise."

"Maybe it's because you give selflessly and are willing to put yourself into harms way for the group." Selfless? Hell no. Like I have a choice with half the decisions I have to make. "Someone's gotta and since no other dickhead wants to man up and do so, it falls to me. Even Barker does this shit for a reason. I'm only doing this cause I don't want it to look negatively on my record that the boat crashes into a planet as soon as I hop ship."

Her dark grin and pale brown eyes tell me everything I need to know. Something along the lines of "Horseshit, your lying and I know your lying so don't act like you can hide it". I stop staring at her, looking at the ceiling instead. "What do you want from me Leslie? Besides the usual which I can't do because I can't fucking move!" Again, my attempts to move are for nothing, numbness keeping my limbs in place.

Leslie ignores my remark. "Alb is doing better thanks to the medical supplies. Lotta staff can now go back to active duty." I snort at that too. "Yeah, normal rations and hard work all around. Those rejects come back with the req run yet?" Judging from her silence, that's a no. "How the fuck did they get lost? Or did they decide to go awol?"

"Haven't heard anything from them. Barker's already ordering a group to track the ship." Shit, must've been bad if Barker's getting involved and sending a Pilot group to find them. "If they're alive, their asses are in deep shit. If they're dead, we got something to do. Like we don't have something to do already." Which also means we need to select more staff and find another available ship to do the req runs. More problems.

I still have my helmet on and pull up the data on the hanger status. It's bad, only 5 active ships left and 4 in need of repairs but missing the components to repair em. One of them is reserved for important missions and one is being sent to find another ship. "At the rate we're losing dropships, well be stuck on this god dam boat. What about the titan drops? Did that make it in?"

"Yes. At least that one came in on time. Mechanics are checking them over now to make sure we didn't get short changed." I bet other units didn't have to deal with this shit. Wishful thinking really. "We get another expensive piece of shit?"

"Not the same one. Turns out we got a different piece of shit. They call it a Monarch. It's like the Vanguard but built by a different company. Different weapon specs too." Course Idol would get privileged hardware. Not sure who's she's sleeping with to get it but if I knew, I'd likely go down on the person too if it meant getting the right toys.

I quickly pull up the specs for the Monarch. Vinsen Dynamics so stolen tech. Result of what happens when the IMC can recover enough scrap to make a new titan. A snort comes out of my nose when I see what it can do. "Yeah, this suits Idol's profile alright. Suck the life out of everything around her and use it herself." We share a brief laugh at Idol's expense. Maybe if Idol wasn't so arrogant, I'd holder in higher esteem, maybe even be indifferent about her trying to sex up the kid. Yeah, like that'll happen.

Not wanting to ask further, I pull up the maintenance reports next. Replacements are in and up to snuff surprisingly. "I'd shake mechanical division's hands but it seems too ironic since we'll blow up this hardware in the next few weeks." Such is the life of the Angel City Elite. Unless otherwise stated, everything on board is a necessary loss. "What do you think, Gloria? Like your new body?"

"Affirmative. The use of energy siphoning technology in the Splitter Rifle will allow me to utilize more sub equipment in the field." Mainly more Laser Shots. Rarely do we get to use the Tripwire Mines or the Vortex Shield. "I do not quite understand why you refuse to equip the titan core technology."

"I'll leave flashy maneuvers to the others. Plus, a laser that big is like lighting a signal flare. Dam thing will tell every fucking IMC in the region where to go for a good time." That's happened to me 3 times in my career as a Pilot. Never again. I snort again before saying, "So you changed out your Ion to emphasize the focusing lens?"

"Close and personal. Few Pilots know how to deal with that." Laughter fills the room as we laugh at the remark. Kick a man while he's down why don't ya. My voice goes serious for a second. "Just be careful around close range titans. Light chassis can dance faster than mediums." I may be a bastard but even I feel concern at times. Her face hovers into view, a dark grin staring down at me. "Was that...concern I heard?"

"Oh, don't start that. Even though we can't publicly say we're fucking, I still care about you. Cut me some slack." Hated to admit it but the group had grown on me. Much as I despised some of the things they do, I wouldn't want to jump into the mouth of hell with any other group. Even the 6-4, I think bitterly. Something akin to sadness crosses Leslie's face and I groan in response. "Not again, Leslie. Why can't you keep your emotions stable when we talk about this? Crying won't change anything."

Course that just makes it worse. She leaves my field of vision and I have to listen to her sob in the corner for half an hour, unable to do anything about it. Well, kind of. "OK, maybe that wasn't the best line to say. Sorry. But it's not like I'm KIA or anything. Nor am I abusing you or trying to rape you. So elaborate on what the problem is cause I'm not following." She doesn't answer, sobbing loudly over wherever she is as I look at the ceiling. "Sebastian. Would you like me to accelerate the detoxification process?"

"Wait, you can do that? What's the catch?" Not gonna like the answer but better than being a cripple. "I can stimulate your body to do an involuntary purge of chemical agents from your system. Do note, however, that such a method will render the process incomplete and may have variable side effects." I quickly think it over. "What kind of side effects?"

"Side effects may include nausea, vomiting, increased heart rate-" The list goes on but I stop the list mid flow. "OK, so good chance I'm vomiting this out. How am I doing this? I thought I couldn't do AI stuff without a helmet on."

"I can remotely trigger the effect using our neural link." Well, that's not disturbing at all. "And what about choking on my own vomit? Still can't move and all." The answer I get puts the plan into a difficult spot. "You will need to gain the aid of Commander Leslie before proceeding. Standing by, Sebastian." A groan escapes my throat as I try and look at Leslie, failing in the movement. "Hey Leslie, can you do me a favor?"

"What?! What do you want?!" Aw man, she's having another breakdown. High chance this isn't going to work. "Can you roll me onto my side and take my helmet off? Getting a bit stuffy. Please?" She does so maliciously, rolling me to the edge of the bed at an uncomfortable angle and almost breaking the armor seals that attach my helmet to my armor. "There! Happy?!"

Not in the slightest as I feel a jolt of energy go through me, vomit exploding out of my mouth in a torrent. Least it's working, the numbness of my limbs receding with each heave. I cough a few times to get any excess out of my mouth before saying, "I'll...clean that up..." Thankfully, I can move now, staggering towards the desk and opening the drawers. One of em has some cleaning spray or something. I can practically feel Leslie's dagger eyes stabbing into my back.

Paper towels, nice. And there's the spray can. I grab the trash bin near the desk and move as fast as able to clean up the mess and freshen up the area before the vomit sets in, throwing soiled paper towels into a trash bin at a rapid pace. Guess I'll have to wash the uniform too, my hands now stained in vomit. From the ground nearby, I hear from my helmet, "Sebastian. The detox has only performed a 14% purge of harmful agents within your body. Recommend further detoxification to complete process."

"One thing at a time, Gloria. One thing at a time." Takes a good 15 minutes to clean up the mess to a level that it never happened, Leslie threateningly over my shoulder watching me work. Not the first time. "There, mess is gone. Now whats-"

"Get out," she says. Like hell I will, rising up to my full height in anger and staring Leslie down. "OK, what the fuck is going on?! Did we get another suicide mission or something? Because the last time you acted like this, it was on that op on Artemus V where we had to replace most of the Pilot group." She mirrors my anger, staring back at me with similar fury. "Why the fuck do you care? I thought all you cared about was yourself!"

Part of me wants to smack her, hopefully knocking some dam sense into her but hitting a superior officer is against the rules, even if those rules are barely enforced. "I'm right aren't I? Wheres the mission brief?" I quickly start rummaging around the desk and tables, looking for her holotab. My brain decides to work properly a few minutes into the search, the holotab still on top of the desk in the same spot as before. Passwords still the same from last time and I pull up recent documents, finding the brief.

It isn't pretty. Every group on board is being deployed to Iolas III to help secure the entire planet alongside the 6-4. Resistance is measured 10 to 1, the IMC having a large garrison in place to prevent what we plan to do. Ships already en route and I check the ETA. 2 hours to launch. "So you didn't get that roster change after all. Barkers prepping us all for this shit storm. Explains why we got a fresh titan stock so quickly and without defects."

"It's stupid! We're barely at half strength and we're being thrown right into a deathtrap! The 6-4 is ordered to go in _after_ we secure the ground!" Wow, wasn't kidding with the deathtrap part. That meant only our own Pilot groups are going down there, right into the jaws of every IMC gun aimed skyward. "We gotta talk with the groups. Get to know their strengths." Leslie doesn't look able to do anything, sitting on the edge of the bed with her face in her hands.

I throw the tablet back onto the desktop and take a seat next to her, pulling her into my chest. My chin rests on her forehead as she starts to sob again. Yeah, commands a real burden at times, specially when you have nobody to rely on fully. Barker's a decent source but not that decent. Not enough to prevent morale drops. Whole ships probably borderline awol at this rate. Gloria chimes in from the floor with, "Sebastian, you have an urgent call from Captain Barker."

"Put it on speaker." I wanted him to hear what he's doing wrong. His voice projects from the helmet after a brief pause. "Oh, sorry Seb. This a bad time?"

"What is it? You don't flag urgent unless it is." Barker chuckles a bit, Leslie sobbing loudly in the background. "Need you to go pick up a huge grocery list. Take the ship. I'm relaying it to Gloria. She'll get you up to date." The transmission ends, followed by, "Transmission received. Payment of 1000 credits transferred to account." The fuck, one grand?! What the hell am I buying? "Give me the rough on whats being purchased."

"25% military grade hardware. 25% repair materials. 25% foodstuff allocations. 25% recreational stock." It wont all fit in the dropship and she omitted major details. No biggie since I didn't care half the time what I'm buying on anthers budget. "How are we transporting all of that in 2 hours?"

"System jump delayed until vital supplies are delivered to appropriate destinations." Meaning the boat wont jump until I get the job done. Looking down at Leslie losing her shit and reverting to that of an infant, I'm tempted to just go on without her or postpone until she calms down. I choose neither. "C'mon, Leslie. Much as I want to disobeys orders right now and show you that life's worth living, we have a job to do. I'm flying this time."

Dam, she's a wreck. She's still choking on her own sobs. I'm forced to wait it out because if we step outside in any fashion that doesn't look professional, bad shit hits the fan and we get a hefty court martial. Well, one way to solve sadness and I accept the consequences. "Gloria, lock the doors and block incoming calls."

"Affirmative, Sebastian. Please return Commander Leslie to normal emotional patterns." This is what I get for having an AI too close to my brain. Really convenient but no true privacy. Leslie tries to keep attached to me as I try to move her off but she doesn't win, my hands pulling her away by her shoulders. She looks so much younger when sad, the weight of experience lifted away to reveal the vulnerable young woman underneath. Takes a lot to unnerve her and potential death is one such unnerving lot. She practically leaps on me when I start kissing her, knocking me over and returning my affection far in access to requirements.

Much as I want to go as far as the body can stand to make her feel better, we have to make it quick. Half hour to an hour is the limit and I make sure we keep to schedule. Good thing she remembers the ground rules this time, keeping any scratching and biting on places others won't notice. Last thing I need is trying to explain how I got certain scars to medical staff.

It's not like I don't care about her feelings. I just know that our relationship can't work until we're out of the unit and with the state it's in, that won't be happening for a long time. I need someone like her to tolerate my level of bastard and she needs the same from me as far as I can tell.

We need each other and we've never admitted it. We don't need to.


End file.
